First Yom Kippur

by Tova Malka Appel

The sound of prayer fills the air. The room is hot and tense as each person pours out their heart to the Creator. Pages turn, tears leak out, and fists strike chests repeatedly, asking for forgiveness. A girl sits, stooped over her machzor, her prayer book, trying to focus on the words. Her head lifts, as the chazzan, the prayer leader, finishes a line. Her eyes alight on the rabbi, also huddled over his machzor. He is completely immersed in his prayers, singing to himself. With his heart and soul, he crying to the Almighty, “Forgive me! Forgive your lowly servant!” He is weak from fasting, as is the rest of the congregation. This is Yom Kippur. This is the Day of Repentance.

For Tova, this is her first Yom Kippur. Now that she’s had her bat mitzvah, she is judged as an adult. Yom Kippur is full of sights and sounds, and though she’s young, she’ll remember it for the rest of her life. All the congregants, tears flowing, have come together to complete unity. Each is helping the other pray. All the prayers, twined fast like a strong rope, will penetrate the heavens and eradicate us all from the book of sins.

Every year is a new Yom Kippur. Every year, we are judged again. Going through half of the machzor is not an easy task. But it is a Jew’s instinct to succeed in the mission G-d set out for them. G-d wouldn’t give it to us if we couldn’t manage it.

Yom Kippur has made quite an impact on Tova. All the tears, hers included, are the water that melts stone. The prayers are blades that cut through the hardest diamond. These prayers are paving the path that can take you to eternal reward.

So sitting with her hands clutching her growling stomach, her eyes fixed on the words of the machzor, the true meaning of Yom Kippur comes into Tova’s head. The Almighty wants something from us. He doesn’t need our prayers, but we do need them. We need to connect with the Creator, and we need to pray for forgiveness. Not to say that it’s easy, but good things always come the hard way. A small machzor and its powerful words can change a life.

After Yom Kippur Shacharis, the morning prayers, Tova walks out of synagogue feeling like she really connected with the Almighty. A feeling of gratitude fills her heart, as she thanks G-d for placing her in the midst of this wonderful congregation. After all, a congregation truly makes all the prayers stronger. Next year in Jerusalem!